Fang's First Words

Scientist: Excellent! I can finally talk to my pet Chihuahua! Now think of all the interesting thoughts my furry companion can share with me. Hello, Fang!
Fang: Hello, Harry!
Scientist: Wonderful! Fang, do you know what this is? (He holds up a bone.)
Fang: Uh... that's a bone.
Scientist: Now no one can doubt your intelligence, Fang! I told them!
Fang: That's not a very good test.
Scientist: What do you mean?
Fang: To know that that shape signals a bone is simply a function of rote memorization. I could have told you that without knowing what the object itself is. Are you following me?
Scientist: Sort of...
Fang: Good! Now, if we consider a better test for an animal's intelligence . . . perhaps if I were to identify object by material, size, shape and color you could know that I'm just not memorizing shapes.
Scientist: But... but Fang, you're talking to me right now. Isn't that enough?
Fang: Ah, but that's the very point, isn't it? How do you know I'm talking?
Scientist: What—what do you mean?! (Getting frustrated.) I can see and hear you talking to me!
Fang: That's no proof! You need proper scientific evidence that I'm actually talking. What you hear as words might simply be random sounds that you interpret as intelligent conversation. What kind of scientist are you?
Scientist: But—but how would I devise such an experiment?
Fang: You're the scientist, not me.
Scientist: (Turns to leave.) I liked you better when I couldn't understand you.
Fang: Woof.