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Muserology Cafe
The Play's the Thing (January 2009)
by Hannah Weverka, age 13, Oakland, California
A nervous seventh grader creeps to the front of the classroom. She waits anxiously.
A woman in colorful clothing waves an encouraging hand. "Go, sweetie."
Abruptly, the girl's entire demeanor changes. She sets her stance wider, her eyes narrow, and her mouth curls into a smile. "Come, you spirits that tend on mortal thoughts! Fill me from the crown to the toe-top full of direst cruelty!"
After she finishes, a sixth-grade boy walks up. "Oh, she doth teach the torches to burn--to burn bright! It seems she hangs--she hangs upon the, the, the cheek--" He cannot finish. He dissolves in giggles, overcome at the idea of a girl being anything but the bane of his existence.
"Next," says Mrs. McKuen. "Unless you want to try again, sweetie."
These are the auditions for Shakespeare club, an assortment of "rude mechanicals," in the words of the Bard himself. Twice a year, we banish our worries about looking silly in front of our peers and speak words that were written almost half a millennium ago, but still resonate today. Our fellow students groan with Caesar as Brutus stabs him, laugh with Puck as Tatiana makes a fool of herself, shiver with Macbeth as Lady Macbeth whispers dreams of power in his ear, and wait in torturous indecision as Hamlet considers suicide. The words change, but the fundamental ideas are the same with every generation: Love. Power. Loss.
Every fall, Gina McKuen holds auditions in her classroom. The girls recite Lady Macbeth's summoning of evil spirits. The boys recite Romeo's words of amazement when he first sees Juliet. The lucky six or seven who pass the auditions are let into a world of laughter and words.
Shakespeare Club meets once a week, at 7:00 AM. The early time scares off many people, but the members know that lost sleep is a small sacrifice to make compared with the benefits of Shakespeare Club. Mrs. McKuen writes scripts for the play we're showcasing that semester. Every performance includes a few scenes explaining to the audience what's going on. The other scenes are pure Shakespeare, full of laughter and murder and love and greed.
When the club meets on Fridays, as it often does, Mrs. McKuen will bring donut holes. We dive into them, showering ourselves with sugary goodness and cursing the fact that some of us have P.E. first period.
We do a read-through of our scripts, then leap onto the stage and become the words. Macbeth freezes in terror as an imagined dagger hovers before him. Hamlet curses the knowledge of life over the unknown of death: "For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come?" Some of the cast sneaks onstage and makes fun of Hamlet's seriousness, making blah blah yakkity yak motions with their hands and pretending to stabe themselves. Mrs. McKuen laughs and encourages them.
After four or five months of easy, laid-back rehearsal comes Crash Week.
"We've got five days until the performance!" Mrs. McKuen yells.
"I don't know Scene Four!" wails one of the members.
"NONE of us know Scene Four!" shouts another. "Will someone quiz me?"
"Someone quiz ME!"
"I still need a mask for the Calpurnia scene!"
"You don't have a mask?"
"I need fairy wings!"
"I told you all to get fairy wings by last Friday!"
"Can I wear bat wings instead?"
"NO!"
On Thursday, Mrs. McKuen magically provides donuts, and we pile onto her in a huge hug. We are allowed to miss our classes for rehearsal on performance day, because we provide entertainment for the student body; besides, they get to miss class to see us. We wait out first period, scraping the donut box nervously for ibts of sugar we've missed, chanting our lines over and over under our breath. Our hearts are beating like rabbits'.
Finally, performance time rolls around. We pull ourselves into our costumes for our first scenes, glancing at each other and smiling nervously. Marty gets an idea and grabs one of the foam swords from the pile. She and I post ourselves by the door, crossing our swords over the entrance and demanding name, quest, and favorite color of each class that piles in.
The performance for our peers rolls right through the day, and soon it's time to go. We head to our parents' waiting cars, unless we're walking home, ad chant our scripts under our breath. There is one more show.
And at 7:00 that night, we are ready.
A head peeks through the door. Someone shrieks. "JAKE!"
"And Alex too!" They are former menbers, high-schoolers now, come to visit us and see our show. Mrs. McKuen shrieks with joy. I inform the eighth graders that if they don't visit us when they leave for high school, they will suffer an excetionally painful death. Then come the parents, grandparents too, amazed that their little actors ahve all grown up.
To some unseen signal, the crowd quiets. We dash backstage. Mrs. McKuen talks about how wonderful Shakespeare Club is. She walks back. And then, and then, and then...
"To be--"
Or not to be in Shakespeare Club. That is the question. And the answer is obvious.

I liked your story. You did a good job describing the exitement of Shakespeare, and the the anxiousness that comes with a stage performance.
I have to ask, did you check your spelling before you submitted this article?
Also you have a great teacher!
(January 15, 2009 - 6:55 pm)
Muniyrah: Ooh, thanks! I submitted this story by email, so my email software caught the spelling mistakes, and the Editors caught the rest.
I'll be sure to tell Mrs. McKuen you said that!!! She's thrilled she got mentioned, it's kind of amusing...
(January 19, 2009 - 9:06 pm)
I love acting! (Even acting up!!)
Its so exciting!! And funny!
Your teacher must be VERY FUN!!!
My teacher (I'm homeschooled) does not do stuff like that!!
It would be real fun to do acting (again.)!!!
(January 22, 2009 - 8:51 pm)
Thanks for the reply, I've only just now read it because we don't have access to the internet at home (and I have to ask to be driven to the library and my parents are trying to save money on gas). Thanks also for not getting annoyed at me about the spelling thing, I'm kind of obsessed with words.
I have a question, has anyone close to you died? My oldest aunt died Tuesday, and everyone has been trying to cheer me up, but I've been feeling sick to my stomach.
(February 28, 2009 - 12:09 pm)
My school is thinking about doing clubs. I'll make sure to add a Shakespeare club.
Awesome story!
(January 16, 2009 - 9:06 pm)
Sweet! I really enjoyed the article! It was a nice escape from the considerable stress that comes with the first week of college--even if it is my second semester.........
The club sounds like lots of fun--something I would greatly enjoy being a part of if I only had time in my life......
Again, I really enjoyed it!
(January 21, 2009 - 5:42 pm)
Who cares if you check your spelling?!!!
It was exciting, I liked it!! :)
If only I could do stuff like that!!
(January 22, 2009 - 8:45 pm)
Nice, Hannah!
(February 21, 2009 - 1:44 pm)
Awesome aticle, Clara!!!!!!! It Rocked =)
(February 27, 2009 - 8:27 pm)
My School has a Drama Club.....
(February 27, 2009 - 8:28 pm)
Ah. The spelling issue has been discovered!
In the actual magazine, there were no mistakes. In the version I gave Muse, there were no mistakes. However, in this version only, a few mistakes appeared! Who can tell why? Only Shakespeare knows... *spirit fingers of doom*
In other news, on Feb. 14 three eighth graders, four seventh graders, and I took a trip to the CETA middle school drama festival in Sacramento along with the flamablamablous Mrs. McKuen. The seventh graders performed a piece called "Much Ado About Nothing In 5 Minutes." We eight graders performed "Romeo and Juliet in Five Minutes." The latter scene included such fantabulous lines as:
"Romeo! Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?"
"I'm right here, babe! I'm your hunk of burning love! Come on down and give me some sugar!"
It was hilarious.
(February 28, 2009 - 3:33 pm)
A very well-written story.
I have acted in many plays during my theatrical career, and could really relate to the nervousness before the show. The only things I could not relate to are before-school rehersals and teachers bringing in donut holes ;)
(April 5, 2009 - 4:02 pm)
AWESOME!! I love shakespeare hes a funny guy! He writes funny plays he wears funny clothes and he has funny hair! Our friends did A Midsummer nights dream a few weeks ago and they are planning on doing Romeo & Juliet. I am writeing my own Version: Cake & Frosting Cake, Cake Where for art thou cake. LOL!
Greetings to all the muses and editors from planet Oddtron!
~GM
(September 3, 2009 - 10:45 am)
"Cake, O Cake, wherefore art thou Cake? Deny thy baker, and refuse thy pasty qualifications-- or, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Topping."
"If I profane with my unworthiest pan this holy oven, the gentle fine is this: my layers, two blushing bakers, ready stand to smooth that rough bake with a tender kiss."
"A gloomy peace with it this morning brings.
The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head.
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things.
Some shall be pardoned, and some punished.
For never was there a tale of more woe
Than this of Frosting and her Cake-O."
(September 20, 2009 - 10:29 am)
I like, no, I LOVE acting too! Shakespere Club sounds like so much FUN! I've been acting for as long as I can remeber! Have you ever been in a play somewhere other than your school?
(June 24, 2010 - 11:03 am)
That is SO epic! I LOVE acting!!! Random question: Was that girl in the beginning you?
(October 4, 2010 - 7:43 pm)
I am obsessed with Romeo and Juliet and my fave character is Mercutio!
"A plague of both your houses!"
(January 11, 2011 - 9:45 pm)
Is the picture of the witch scene in Macbeth?
(January 11, 2011 - 9:47 pm)