Muserology Cafe

Tales from the Physics Princess (April 2009)

by Hannah Bockbrader, age 16, Minnesota

The time had finally come for my ninth-grade year. I could pick electives. I would be included during the high school lunch hour. But best of all, I could take Physical Science and go from the Physics Princess-in-Training to the full-fledged Physics Princess.

My mom was a physics teacher at a different school, making her the Physics Queen. I was dubbed the Physics Princess-in-Training, my brother the Physics Prince-in-Training. (Dad didn't get a title because he just doesn't really get the fun of the whole "Physics Court" thing.)

My brother and I grew up living and breathing science. We'd analyze the life at our backyard creek, make Alka-Seltzer rockets, mix colors of light, see how high we could get on the swing, and send things down the stairs, seeing how fast they went. Sometimes we were teachers' pets.

It was Friday of Homecoming week. I had Physical Science seventh hour, right before the Homecoming pep fest. Our teacher, Mr. Johnson, had just finished a short lecture about physical properties in science (color, hardness, texture, boiling/melting point, etc.). He went into his back room and came out with a metal pole, which he handed to me. I took it without question. I made observations in my head: it was hard (being metal), about three feet long, gray, solid, and had about an inch or half-inch diameter. Mr. Johnson was warpping a test tube up in a washcloth. He set it on his teaching station.

"Come up and test the hardness, Hannah," he said, beckoning me up to the table. I walked forward, unsurely. But, I thought, that would involve smashing it...which is something we're NOT SUPPOSED TO DO UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

"Really? Are you sure?" I asked uneasily. 

"Yes, hurry up, Hannah." Mr. Johnson was getting impatient.

"Okay," I hissed under my breath. I raised the pole up and whipped it down--stopping right before it hit the test tube.

"You are serious, right?" I was having second thoughts.

"Yes! Just go!" 

I took a deep breath. I raised the pole up again...KA-SMASH! The shattering of glass sounded. A second time! This was kind of fun! KA-SMASH! Third! K--

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" A shriek filled my ears. 

"I was...you told me...you said..." I sputtered. If I was doing it wrong, he would've stopped me the first time I tried...right? I thought. My mind was racing, and I started giggling hysterically. The rest of the class was laughing too. "Perfect Science Student Hannah" just messed up big time.

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TAP IT, NOT SMASH IT!" Mr. Johnson's screaming voice brought me back to the classroom. "GIVE ME THAT!" He wrenched the pole from my hands. "SIT DOWN!" I obeyed. He took the washcloth and started to peel it open. Inside there were shattered glass shards, all smaller than my thumbnail.

"Oops." I giggled more.

"That cost $6!" Mr. Johnson had stopped screaming, but he was really, really, really mad. I tuned most of it out, figuring out my own thoughts until...

"You're going to stay after class. Detention! Oh! And you'll miss the pep fest! And you will call your parents!" I froze. The class went deathly silent. I was scared now. I had never gotten a detention. If my parents found out, I'd be in HUGE trouble. My mom would be scarier than a mad bear. He told me to, the voice in my head defended. Right, I couldn't back down now.

"I'll do that," I responded, with fake confidence.

As the hour wore on, I got steadily more and more worried. There were only 15 minutes left, but it felt like eternity. I'm going to be in so much trouble, I thought fervently. Finally, the bell rang.

I sadly watched everyone leave. I slowly made my way up to the teaching station. Mr. Johnson kicked some boys out of the room so he could talk to me. They gave me high-fives on their way out. I stared at my toes for a few seconds, listening to Mr. Johnson go to his desk. I followed.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I thought you said..." I trailed off, looking for words.

"I know!" Mr. Johnson's smiling head popped up from the computer. "I was just kidding! I'm a good actor, huh?" I didn't know what to say. He laughted at me. I left the room in a huff.

"I don't believe him! Ah! And now everybody thinks I have detention too..." I had made it to my locker.

"Hannah!" My best friend ran over. "I heard you got detention!!" She was flipping out. Neither of us had ever gotten detention. I looked up with a grin.

"C'mon, you know the Physics Princess-in-Training better than that!"